there's your lesson

some days this is just how it feels

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 08:26:18 GMT

Ann Young

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 11:43:14 GMT

So Korea is totally awesome. If they didn't have such an awesome work ethic and have expectations of me to also work super hard I would want to stay here forever.

Reasons I Love Seoul

1. The bars have awesome names. Some bars I enjoy: Beer O'Clock, River Phoenix Bar, Judas or Sabbath, Mike's Cabin, Good Bar, Deep Purple.

2. Some of those bars have djs that will play anything you want, and Judas or Sabbath will play American/British music videos for you on a big screen.

3. I like eating with chopsticks even though I apparently suck at it.

4. I teach kindergarten. The kids are 5 years old in Korean Years, which is actually 3-4 years old in Our Years. They are tiny and precious.

5. Drunk Korean men assume I'm a prostitute because I'm blonde, which is funny to me.

6. I like wearing slippers at work.

7. Keeley is awesome. I don't know why I was such a dick and pointedly didn't hang out with her when she lived here.

Things That Are Uncool

1. Cans of Coke are tiny.

2. The nearest subway station is a good 15-20 minute walk from my apartment.

3. I still don't know with confidence where I live.

4. Drivers, pedestrians, bikers and people on mopeds are all fucking insane. There is no apparent sense of order so I don't understand how more people don't die from collisions.

5. I live across the street from McDonalds.

6. They don't have Super Target.

7. I still only know maybe 6 words in Korean.

I'm kinda tired all the time now that work started back up...people say it's still jetlag but really I think I'm just not used to leaving for work at 8am and getting home from work at 7pm. I haven't been taking any breaks during the day and I have no prep time (I have class straight from 9:20am-6pm). I'm hoping it gets easier once I know the kids better and have a routine going.

Thu, 28 May 2009 19:58:00 GMT

Most of you are on my Facebook but I just wanted to get this out there: I'm moving to Korea in August...probably only for a year. We'll see.

That's all I know.

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:30:10 GMT

Our vacation started out with a bang- literally the sound of a bang- as the engine on the plane went out. The plane crashed into the ocean and everyone died but us because we have been going to the gym and are now very strong swimmers. We swam ashore and some kindly native people began to guide us through the rainforest toward civilization. Fortunately my camera survived the swim. Here is a picture of the natives.

Then a chupacabra came out of nowhere and ate the natives. He had two cool-looking friends with him but his friends didn't talk to us- they could tell we weren't as cool as them. This is what they looked like.

We had to try to find our way through the rainforest on our own. We were scared we were going to get eaten by huge snakes. We passed two explorers getting eaten by snakes. It was kind of insensitive of me but I took a picture. One of the explorers did not look delicious to the snakes so they did not eat him. We let him come with us.

Just when we thought we would never get out of the rainforest some aliens beamed down and said if we gave them a human to do icky tests on they would guide the other two to civilization. We gave them the explorer.

The aliens thought we were pretty cool so after they beamed us down to the nearest town they asked if there was anything else they could do for us. We told them that we would like some giant bananas to eat. The aliens morphed regular bananas into giant, fun singing bananas. I ate the hell out of them.

We decided to spend the rest of the day relaxing. Some locals played guitar for us to help us relax cuz Puerto Ricans are cool like that.

And that's the story of the first day of our spring break.

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:06:32 GMT

So I'm totally sick people, totally sick. I can't hear, I can barely talk and I'm a snot factory. I'm not the kind of person you want to hang out with tonight...but thanks to everyone who was planning on going out, you are good friends.

I'm sitting on the couch eating ribs and drinking Tahitian Treat. I know I should be consuming things that would help me feel better but shit, it's my birthday, I do what I want. I'm even wearing white pants while I eat my ribs...cuz i FEEL like it. That's right.

Birthday Update

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 16:38:47 GMT

Because I want to Maximize the Birthday Fun I really don't think I should go hang out at the Vegas Friday night like it's any other day. The following are things I want to do Friday. Please respond to this with your Vote of what you wanna do with me. If you have an idea that's not on the list I wanna hear it. If you are reading this I'm talking to you...we both know you have nothing better to do and that you know how much I love birthdays and that you like me a little so you can tolerate me for this one night.

Birthday Options:

1. Zed Leppelin is playing in White Bear Lake

2. Britney Spears is in town...we could hear Womanizer live!

3. Dueling Pianos at the Shout House

4. Go see naked girls at the Deuce Deuce

If y'all ignore this post I'm gonna go to the Otter and get real wasted and sign up for nothing but Ghostbusters all night long and Kat will let me keep singing it cuz it'll be my birthday.

Happy Networking Asshole

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 00:38:15 GMT

Hi Internet Friends.

The slow death of livejournal makes me very sad. The one-liners on facebook aren't as good, why do none of you see that?!

I made it back from Connecticut in one piece...although I gotta tell you, I suck at brackets. The teams I have going deep are still in it though so there's still hope. If Michigan State wins I will buy all of you beer...although probably not one brewed in Michigan. Are there even any beers available in MN dive bars that come from MI?

I was just thinking it over and I've really been in good spirits for a long time now. I had a couple bitchy nights in January but those aside I haven't really been a dick lately...I think the elements in my life that were making me insecure and irritable are currently not lurking. I'm not sure what those factors are but I have my guesses...and I'm glad that they don't frequent the Vegas Lounge.

Also, Birthday is coming up. Since my bday is on a Friday I'm thinking of going out that Thursday night instead, since I can't stand weekend crowds. I have no idea where to go or what to do. I'm open to suggestion. I'm hoping some of you jerks will come hang out because I haven't seen a bunch of you in a long time and I kinda miss you.

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 17:06:21 GMT

I feel like there are alot of things I could update the Internet on since I haven't posted in a month...I saw Fleetwood Mac, got to hang out with Mason, saw Doc while he was in town, job interview stuff, Bar Stories, Work Stories...but I really only feel like sharing my favorite text message with you. I just can't seem to delete it since it makes me smile every time I come across it.

February 23 2009 6:22pm

Shaft was just eating a hot dog. I want a hot dog.

-Alison

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:35:03 GMT

I learned how to shoot a gun last night. It was awesome. I got to try out a bunch of revolvers and semi-automatics to see which one I like the best.

Turns out I'm a good shot too. I am now someone worth having around in the post-apocalyptic wastelands.

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 20:26:35 GMT

I don't like that people seem to not be using livejournal much anymore. When you don't call and don't update I assume you are dead. Just sayin.

I did not change my routine for the holidays...except that I ate more dip. I need to stop doing that.

Chandler slept over last night. It made me happy- I wish he was here all the time.

I'm tired of working so much but it's exciting to pay off bills. I never thought I would say something like that but it's true.

Also, Alison, Will and I are going to Puerto Rico in April. Tickets were purchased so it's happening. If you wanna come we have room for one more.

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 16:31:51 GMT

I'm pretty sure the holidays make crazy people even crazier. The bar has just been a weird scene the past couple days. On Wednesday night Alison and I went out but bingo wasn't done so we hung out on the patio til it cleared out. Remember me talking about that madman with the red van who says the feds are after him? He was out there literally ranting and raving and dancing about and pointing fingers all wound up about how the democrats are to blame for everything. Then he knocked over his drink onto my purse and he stopped dead in his tracks and I just laughed and said it wasn't a big deal. He looked taken aback and kept saying sorry and I said, no seriously, I forgive you. He started crying and it was so awkward, I didn't know what to say so I said "Don't worry- you can get another drink!" Then he started laughing and said "No, it's not about that, you're just so nice..." and kept crying for another minute.

Then yesterday afternoon I went to the bar alone and sat and knitted. Some dude asked if he could sit with me and I thought, it's Thanksgiving, why not. He kept getting all huffy that I wasn't setting down my knitting while I was talking to him and kept asking if he should leave since he was CLEARLY bothering me. I told him he wasn't bothering me but that I seemed to be bothering him so maybe he should go. Then he said he would go but just wanted to chill there for a minute first. I said he should probably just go and he insisted he just needed to sit there for another minute first and that he wouldn't talk to me during that time. I asked him if he was on something (because then that would have made total sense) but he seemed offended by that. He eventually moved and was all pissy about it, slamming into my chair as he walked off. What I do like is that the bar owner sat down at the table behind me to listen to this go down and the bouncer, even though he was off duty, was sitting nearby listening too. The second that dude got up they came over to see if I wanted him kicked out. I love that they love me at that bar, I don't know where else I would go when I'm crabby.

I don't have anything to do until tonight so if you're bored too you should call me.

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:58:39 GMT

Anyone who says I don't deserve my own reality show did not witness the scene at the thrift store yesterday. I fell in love with an ugly couch there and after days and days of trying to convince alison that we can't live without it she gave in. It's a retardedly heavy hide-a-bed and the store pretty much had it blocked off with other crap all around it. I told the employees that I wanted to buy it but wanted to be sure it wasn't too heavy for us to carry- we live exactly one block from the store and it was our big plan to awkwardly and slowly carry it down that block. The lady behind the counter was all huffy about it and told us we need to get boys to carry it for us. She seemed to think the idea of women lifting furniture was the most stupid thing she'd ever heard of. She repeated this sentiment again and again and again the entire time we were in the store. Then there was the overly helpful African guy working who was convinced we could take the couch down the street on a dolly. While he was trying to put the couch on the dolly the hide a bed opened up, throwing him into a stand of greeting cards and he was stuck on the floor for a minute. Then there was a surly old timer who said the last hide-a-bed the store had taken in had pretty much ruined his left arm forever. He smelled bad and insisted that we needed a truck. After much drama and a moderate mess Alison discovered the couch had wheels and that we could just roll it down the block. About one third of the way down the block one of the wheels broke, so I lifted my end and Alison steered the couch on its two good wheels. You have no idea how long a block truly is until you've carried a heavy couch down it. Then there was the great ordeal of getting it up the stairs. After much ado we now have the couch in the apartment and did it without the aid of men or trucks because we are incredibly awesome.

This apartment is small and old timey and I like it more all the time. Moving here was an excellent choice. The gross couch fits in well, don't you think?

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:26:27 GMT

As of yesterday I finally live in Minneapolis again after two grueling weeks of commuting.

That means you can start inviting me to do things again. Today, for example. I'm at the coffee shop making this update and when I'm done I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with myself. Come to Vegas with me tonight? Please?

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 19:13:04 GMT

I was gonna make a long update but there's this cockroach wandering back and forth across the desk and I'm worried that if I look away for too long he's going to crawl in my soda or mutate or something, I don't know. I sometimes forget how gross this building is.

I'm watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show and it makes me want to go on dates. It also makes me want the phrase "hot to trot" to come back.

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 18:05:04 GMT

It turns out Alison and I love going to Twins games.

How unforseen!

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:54:35 GMT

I got up at a reasonable hour today and thought I ought to seize the day. So Alison and I went to Palmer's to get beer and play Photo Hunt. I brought a framed photo of Me and Stoner and hung it on the wall while the bar patrons were distracted by the ambulance out front. So for all of you who enjoy having a drink now and then at Palmers you should look for that picture above the video game machines.

We're going for a bike ride. Call if you wanna do something fun.

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:29:25 GMT

Hi Friends.

You oughta know that I took a sleep overnight job so I won't have to be panicky about money while I search for a new dayjob. It's Sunday through Thursday nights, so I can't get tanked with you on weeknights anymore. If you wanna drink at 8am with me you're welcome to.

I went to the Rage Against the Machine/Anti-Flag show last night. It was fucking sweet. I missed the dramatic conclusion with all the arrests because I had to get to work. I'm real excited about all the shows coming up- alot of people are coming through who I wanna see. I have tickets for Haley Bonar/The Owls, Kimya Dawson, Neil Young/Death Cab for Cutie, Mason Jennings and Cheech and Chong. I also just realized that Ani DiFranco will be playing the State Theater on my half-birthday. It's a sign. Would anyone be interested in going with me? I promise that you don't have to be a lesbian, she's one of the best live performances I've ever seen...and I've been to a lot of shows. The best female guitarist hands down.

Also, if any of you don't work full-time day jobs we should totally hang out more. Seriously, I have nothing to do all day. We should watch cartoons or go to the zoo or play darts or go for bike rides or go bowling or eat cheese or something.

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:48:03 GMT

I'm in denial about summer ending. I wasted it! Again! I want more time to go to the beach. And I just went to the horse races for the first time and I want to bet on more horses! It just isn't fair! Another summer wasted in the bar. I don't even have any good bar stories this week. Last night an odd Asian man followed us from Vegas to the Otter and I think he was trying to friend me up until the point he saw me punch Tim in the forehead. I don't remember doing it but there's a welt on Tim's face to prove it happened.

I glanced over at the windowsill and realized I'm a person I would like if I wasn't me. So at least I have that going for me.

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:20:36 GMT

I realized when I woke up on Sunday morning that I didn't have anyplace to be until Friday. Not a social commitment, not a single plan, it was a weird realization. I'm usually all squirrely by the time Dan gets home from work since I'm usually by myself all day until then. I try to keep myself calm so as not to drive him crazy. I'm way due to make a picture post but my camera died so you'll just have to wait.

Yesterday Alison and I had dinner at Green Mill and passed Al Franken in the parking lot. Alison whispered "There's Al Franken!" but I thought she was playing the game we do at the bar where we try to spot people with slight resemblences to celebrities. Anyway, he was looking away so I was giggling and trying to see his face. Then he looked up and saw us all smiling and gave this cutesy little smile back. He thought I was giggling because he's Al Franken but really I was giggling because I thought he was some crapster who looked like Al Franken.

Then we went to the Schooner where some randomster drew a picture of me and Alison singing together. It's now on the fridge. Then we went to Vegas Lounge where some dude gave me a mix CD. I've seen this guy at the bar before and never really talked to him until last week. The second I talked to him he got all nervous and told me about all the mixes he wants to make for me and how he always gets excited to see me and how I like awesome music and how he wants to make a sculpture out of me in silly putty. Yeah, you read that right. Silly putty. So this week apparently he actually made me a CD and he was super nervous talking to me again and went on and on about what's on the CD and how long it took him to make it. If I turn up missing in the next couple weeks look for that guy, okay? I'm not putting the lotion in the fucking basket.

I sang Too Drunk To Fuck last night. The bar regulars have just got to hate me by now.

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:46:03 GMT

So I just got a letter from the school district letting me know that I don't have a job anymore. It doesn't say why.

So that's awesome.

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:52:17 GMT

So for all you doubters out there it's official. I live in Boy House. Noah and Dan graciously moved my bed and dresser in yesterday...although I ended up sleeping on the floor of my old room last night anyway. Typical. I called in sick to work today, which is sad because I really need the money. I'm pretty sure I have bronchitis. My plan to will the sickness out of my body because I don't feel like paying my $30 copay doesn't seem to be working. That was a lousy plan. Before I was just mildly sick and now I'm actually having trouble breathing. Awesome.

Since Davey is moving to Tanzania I've tried to cram in some quality time. We busted out the old Batman Forever game along with Fireball Island and wasted a day away.

I've been hanging out with Tim alot lately. We both seem to have an extraordinary amount of free time and a burning desire to waste it. We've been playing a lot of darts, Big Buck Hunter and mini-golf. You can tell from just this one picture that this mini-golf course is the sweetest shit ever.

Tim talked Joe, Alison and me into going up to his camper. No details but I won't be doing that again. Here's a picture of Joe getting hammered and Alison already hammered. I spend a lot of time drinking with Alison and it might be the drunkest I've seen her.

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:59:34 GMT

Last night was a beautiful drunken scene. We were so drunk that we signed up for "Halloween Sound Effects 15" and sang it. No, there weren't any lyrics. We just made spooky sounds. I guess you don't need to know about the rest of it...

...but a few minutes ago Alison said "I can't believe I didn't drop your phone into the toilet!" And I have a text from Alison at 11:42pm that says "You are jealous my puppy is moister than yours." I think that about covers it.

I don't work again until Saturday. Alison and I have an Adventure planned for today involving some disguises and the eastbound 32 but other than that I have no plans. Come be fun.

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 07:27:28 GMT

After this shift wraps up I won't be working any overnights for awhile. And after Friday I will practically be unemployed until Labor Day. So if I ever tell you I'm busy during the month of August it will be a huge lie; in actuality I'll be sitting in my captain's chair, Coors in hand, on the front porch of the apartment in Northeast watching people go by on the busses or in a kiddie pool in the backyard of Boy House drinking Strohs, depending on when I get around to moving.

There are many more creepy things happening in this building at this exact moment then any of us could possibly imagine. If I lived here I would never come home.

Also...

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 21:49:12 GMT

Does anyone know more than me about renter's rights? Our landlord keeps giving us about a 3 hour notice that he's gonna show our apartment, which in my mind isn't usually enough. One good reason is that I'm working inconsistent shifts. If I go to sleep at 9am after working the overnight and if he calls at 10am to tell me there's a 1pm showing I probably won't get the message. The landlord told me he's not required to give us 24 hour notice and I gave him the above scenario as a reason to give more notice, as it would be awkward for everyone involved to have him walk into my room while I'm sleeping. He said it wouldn't be awkward. WTF? How would that NOT be awkward? Or what if we have people over? What if I'm just piss drunk? I don't want Alice interacting with the landlord! So is he really not required to give more than a couple hours' notice? Cuz it's pissing me off.

We decided if he's really gonna be a dick about it we will leave porn on in the living room whenever he has a showing. If you have any other good ideas on how to make things awkward for him let us know.

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 21:32:02 GMT

So we just got back a little while ago from Moondance. We are greasy mooks but I think we all had an okay time. I had never camped out for a concert before, I really liked being able to wander in and out as I saw fit. A lot of the bands were a little washed up- you know, with only two or three of the original members. Creedence and Big Brother were big let downs for me. However, The Guess Who and Sweet were freakin awesome. Also dug way hard on Led Zepagain and Styx. They had a rocking all-lady ACDC cover band too...would have been the best thing ever if I loved ACDC. During Styx I got hit in the eye by a balloon. No, not a joke. I mean, what is the probability of that happening? It was one of those long skinny ones and it wasn't blown up all the way and the tip got my right in the eye. Instant karma's gonna get you.

I didn't drink as hard as I could had. I was feeling naseous (sp?) from the new meds and drinking felt like an awful choice. After a couple days of being around a sea of drunk people, though, I decided I'd have to try to forge through the pukiness and just get drunk anyway. I was definitely drunk for Sweet. Some dude and his crappy lady were pushing through the crowd to get to the front. Okay, yeah, you can do that but don't expect me to step aside for you. You got here late fuckers. The dude was basically wading through the crowd and he pretty much tapped me on the shoulder to get me to move. I told him to push harder. He said "I will" and pushed past me, dragging an awful girl in a bright pink shirt, tight pants and too much eyeliner. I pushed her as she walked by. She turned around and started to give me the "Oh no you DIDN'T" hand gesture but Alison pushed her hand down. Her boyfriend dragged her away. I was smiling the whole time, it was pretty funny.

My other favorite story is the Tale of the Dude Passed Out Behind Our Tent. The second night there I get woken up at like 3am by two drunk guys marvelling at someone passed out behind our tent. They went on and on about it. "Oh my god, that drunk dude is just PASSED OUT. It's SO FUNNY! We should take a video of him! SO FUNNY!" They went on and on. Seriously, you've never seen a dude passed out before? After the dudes leave I realize that the snoring I've been hearing isn't Alison but the Drunk Behind the Tent. His head is literally pressed up against the tent. (Side note: Although that drunk was gone by morning we got to see a dude climb out of the bed of a truck parked next to us and he had no idea how he got there...apparently that's a common thing at Moondance.) Anyway, the next night at 3am I get woken up by the same two drunk dudes just TALKING about how this was the spot they'd seen the dude passed out in and how FUNNY it was. I was pissed but didn't wanna wake up my mom so I didn't say anything. I figured that would be the end of it. But no. The next day in the middle of the day we are playing Yahtzee in the tent and I hear the same dudes talking to a couple girls about how THIS was the spot where they'd found the dude passed out and how it was SO FUNNY. It was like they were giving a tour or something. Anyway, Mom was awake so I had no reason not to yell at them. Something like "Oh my god, let it GO already! You seriously have never seen a dude passed out before? It WASN'T that funny and I am SO freakin tired of hearing you TALK about it!" The dudes walked away in quiet shame. Their friends seemed to think it was pretty funny that they got sassed by an invisible girl in a tent.

I'm sure Alison will give you a more thorough update. I had a good time. We talked Drunk Karaoke Mike into letting us shower in his hotel room since the showers were down in Iowa. True Story. We also scored cookies and turkey off of Ramone. I was pleased.

Here are the only pictures I took:

Me and Davey in town

Me and Alison in our togas for the toga party

We had the best togas there because everyone else is living in 2008.